I recently gained a helpful insight into the emotional “needs” of a wife, in particular the wife of a pastor and it was reinforced this morning as I was having coffee with my bride at our local java house. My first Call was to a dual parish which allowed me a lot of time at home with my family, because the churches were small and the meetings were minimal. Currently I serve a congregation that is larger, with more responsibility, more meetings, more time away from home, but also perhaps more fulfilling for me as a pastor.
My wife was very happy for me that I was in a congregation where the Ministry of the Word was very much appreciated by the majority of its members. From her perspective, however, it also seemed like I didn’t need her help and assistance as much as I did in the other congregations. Brothers in Office–your wife wants you to need her. She is your helper and your God-given assistant. Help her to see that she is needed, especially if you are in a particularly fulfilling Call. Remind her that your happiness is not derived solely from the congregation and its members.
Ironically, though this was not her perception, I actually needed her more when I came here, precisely because I was busier, and more exhausted than I was before. But the devil is ever-cunning, and knows how to play on a woman’s emotions. She felt that I needed her less, when the opposite was true. These things don’t come out if you don’t communicate with your wife, and particularly if all you ever do is talk about your “mistress” (Let the reader understand…) when you are with her.
A helper needs to know that you need her help. “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church.” Thanks for reading.