In the spirit of President Kieschnick’s latest diatribe against our grandfather’s church, I thought I would make list of all the things that I am going to do in the name of missions and reaching lost souls to be all things to all men, in order that I might save some. Here it is:
- Sleep with a prostitute.
- Change my sexual preference.
- Get publicly intoxicated (but, of course, I won’t be able to smoke inside–thanks IL).
- Hug a tree and worship mother earth.
- Wear a Burka.
There, seven is a good number. Any other ideas?
Seriously, it just dawned on me tonight that in our Synod you can get away with just about anything, so long as it is done in the spirit of winning lost souls. I can conduct worship however I want, dress however I want, teach whatever I want, pray with whomever I want on live National T.V., and take communion with whomever I want, so long as I show that I was trying to do missions, or save souls. I think we should go around at District Conferences swearing profusely and using the “F” word around our supervisors, and when they ask why, just say that we are trying to identify with the locals in order that we might “save some.” Surely that was what St. Paul meant when he said, “I have become all things to all men in order that I might save some.”